(19th Jan, 2002, 11:40 PM)
The day of birth finally arrived
Though the conception was negative
That was only a negative misconception.
Yes, she graced my existence yet again
And yes, it was exhilarating
A feeling that she never allows me refuge from.
In all her complexity, and in all my darkness to that truth
She does sweet to the dire mind
And I gasp for that final grasp
Before she softly takes leave
And existence, again, is empty.
I've tried to make her own close to mine
In a manner complete, lacking none in depth.
Maybe that is my mistake.
The wordless response, that often betrays surety
I have oft tried to remove from my bother
But need takes control
And with it, selfish desire.
Those sins of perfection
And temptations of totality.
As the seven questions ravage my mind
I am left wondering
Yes, it is my fault, that is my mistake.
Time will exact the punishment
Or gold, will I encounter, in time.
I love, but selfishly
But I do love, and that is hope to my trial.
Wish me luck
And lets sail together
Through the alligators
And into the gold.
The abyss unstudied, will lead to reward
And wayward dreams will not lead astray.
The dusk can only bring dawn
Hers, and perhaps, mine.
A happy birthday to me, then.